My childhood dream...

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reigeljane's avatar
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I once had this childhood dream. I want to be a hero... No... A protagonist in a story... In real life.
I was determined to be one. I was giving it all and when I got this certain appreciation, I was consumed by pride.
I felt happy and proud... I almost thought that I am the best until...
Reality hit me hard.
That was the time I have realized that there is no such thing as protagonists in real life...
I am my own... You are your own...
I accepted it... I continued doing my best... Even though my life almost turned into a Cinderella one... Haha
Good thing it didn't completely turn into one.
That was the time I became a poet... I read Edgar Allan Poe's poems and he was the one who inspired me.
A while ago, my friend helped me clean my room and we also played games.
I did not realize that it was nine o'clock pm when her mother rang the phone.
She was worried because my friend is not yet home and she does not want my friend to sleep late so I gave my friend the phone.
That is when another thing hit me...
Many things happened a while ago and this possibility hit me.
I was looking at my friend... And the way she plays this certain game.
I have realized... Maybe this part is a part of a story of a writer.
Perhaps... This writer gave the protagonist friends that differs in personality but they all have almost the same problems.
That writer gave her friends to support her. Perhaps she is the masterpiece.
That is when I realized that maybe she is this protagonist whom I wanted to be when I was a child.
At this very time, I am curious about the whole story. I have always wanted to be a supporting character too... Wait... I never thought of that. To be honest, I felt a little envious but it, thankfully, faded quickly.
Yes, there might be a certain story and we might be characters. I tried observing everything once and now I think I have made a wrong conclusion when I started to be a writer.
You see... I always use my senses and even though I am insane... Perhaps, observing really is a part of me.
I tried recalling everything what my friend told me. Her life, problems and all... Also... My observation of her behaviour.
Her behaviour resembles most of the protagonists of almost every story that were made while my behaviour resembles a supporting character who is capable of betraying and then change again.
My behaviour resembles a character who can be easily manipulated. If this is true, I will try my best not to be used against my friend.
If I am right, I hope the writer of this story will never turn me evil. Haha

Yeah... My childhood side got hit again. Wahahaha...
But...
If...
Ummm...
How do I put this...
Errr...
If I will be given a chance to be a protagonist, I think it will happen in the far future... Haha
Wait... That is not what I want to say...
Oh well...
I am troubled lately because of this realization...
First day of school tomorrow.
I cannot wait to go to school... Or not... I am not sure...
I think I am excited but I just cannot feel it because the troubled aura dominated my excitement...
Meh...

I hope I can make a song soon... About this... Or not... Haha
I, really, am at war with myself...
It will be over soon. I am not sure when.
The unknown really is full of surprises.
Hmmm...
I am not sure how to end this entry so I will just end it with...

Good night and take care. :)
© 2013 - 2024 reigeljane
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Zelifano's avatar
It's the most beautiful and intense script I ever read, because it's incredibly difficult draining your soul and putting it in another place... you sure are great!